By Beth Rose
BBC Access All
Fashion exemplary Rosie Viva was diagnosed with bipolar upset aged 22, aft she caused Stansted Airport to evacuate each its waiting passengers.
Rosie hadn't slept each night. She was excited astir flying to Croatia to conscionable her parents for a holiday. Sleep had remained elusive since a caller break-up up with her boyfriend. Despite this, she felt oddly connected apical of the world.
At 01:00 she decided to spell connected a tally done London. Come the morning, having inactive not slept, she headed for the airdrome believing she was successful a dream.
She kissed a alien successful a cafe, stole from shops and bought everyone meal successful McDonald's.
"I honestly thought, 'this isn't existent life'," Rosie told the BBC Access All podcast.
She was hyper-alert. Her eyesight and proceeding were clearer than ever and she felt her heartbeat "sounded similar the extremity of a concert" it was truthful loud.
At Stansted Airport, Rosie started to question what she was experiencing and had the abrupt impulse to telephone her mum.
"When she answered, it shattered the illusion," Rosie says. "I realised that it was existent beingness and I had reached breaking point. I felt specified a consciousness of panic."
Rosie looked astir and saw a spread successful the partition and bolted towards it.
"I jumped done the baggage drop-off. There was a occurrence alarm connected the left-hand broadside and I conscionable retrieve hitting that with my hand.
"All I retrieve is proceeding alarms spell disconnected and seeing policemen moving towards me."
The policemen reached Rosie arsenic the remainder of the airdrome was being evacuated. They rapidly realised she needed to spell to infirmary and had been hallucinating.
Though their accomplishment could person been distressing, Rosie says: "I conscionable retrieve a weird infinitesimal of alleviation that I was getting help."
Rosie hadn't felt close for a agelong clip and her reactions to events ever seemed much "extreme" erstwhile compared to her friends.
"If thing truly tiny upset me, I would person 3 weeks of slump which conscionable didn't adhd up," she says. At others times she couldn't spell to enactment "because a lad ghosted me", but she didn't cognize wherefore she reacted this mode erstwhile others didn't.
She had visited her doc respective times but didn't cognize however to articulate what she was experiencing, and the enactment she received ne'er rather helped.
That break-up with her fellow had been 1 of the archetypal signs thing was earnestly wrong. Rather than feeling devastated, Rosie felt jubilant and energised. Her friends assumed she indispensable beryllium trying to screen up her heartbreak.
Then, successful Rosie's words, her connection and thoughts turned "super spiritual and religious".
"My parents mislaid a lad to leukaemia erstwhile helium was 7 years aged and I'd started sharing online that I felt I was a reincarnation of him."
This would aboriginal go an important indicator that Rosie was successful a manic state. Coupled with a deficiency of sleep, Rosie was experiencing psychosis wherever she saw and heard things that were not there.
After the Stansted incident, an ambulance took Rosie to A&E wherever she spent the adjacent 24 hours. Her older sister was by her broadside and her mum had flown backmost from Croatia.
"I was having moments wherever I understood what was going on," Rosie says. "But past I'd accidental things similar 'Is it good if I spell connected holiday?'"
A furniture was recovered for her successful a psychiatric ward and she was sectioned nether the Mental Health Act, to guarantee she was harmless and received the close treatment. She would enactment arsenic an inpatient for the adjacent 3 months.
"I person moments wherever I retrieve bits of it," she says. "I conscionable fundamentally didn't slumber for different 2 months. That level of psychosis was conscionable bizarre due to the fact that I truly didn't recognise my parents for astir 2 weeks.
"I can't verbalise however that felt - to beryllium locked successful a country due to the fact that of the mode your caput thinks."
Within a mates of days of being connected the ward, Rosie was diagnosed with Type 1 Bipolar Disorder.
She says it took astir six weeks for her caller anti-psychotic medicine to kick-in and to recognize what the diagnosis meant.
According to the foundation Mental Health UK, Type 1 Bipolar Disorder is characterised by astatine slightest 1 occurrence of utmost highs, known arsenic mania, which volition past for much than a week. People volition besides acquisition slump betwixt the highs.
Rosie besides has "rapid cycling" wherever she experiences mania followed by episodes of slump aggregate times a year. She besides says she experiences smaller temper swings which tin hap wrong hours of each other.
It is simply a life-long unwellness which tin beryllium managed with assorted treatments including medication.
"There's nary manual," Rosie says and manages it arsenic champion she can. "I honestly instrumentality my medicine religiously and I've travel to judge that is what I privation to bash for the remainder of my life.
"Now if thing upsets maine and I spell into a debased I wouldn't accidental my medicine cures the depression, it conscionable makes maine somewhat much rational."
After being discharged from hospital, Rosie was besides offered 3 years of out-patient enactment done the NHS, to enactment retired a absorption program astir fare and exercise.
Rosie finds she "thrives" erstwhile she eats well, drinks small intoxicant and has a bully slumber routine. Running has besides go her "happy place", which helps to pain disconnected excess energy, successful a mode relaxing exercises similar yoga, don't.
Going for a locomotion "without my telephone and listening to the sounds of the world" has besides go cardinal successful Rosie uncovering position during challenging moments.
She has made a movie astir her acquisition - Modelling, Mania and Me - for Channel 4's Shot By You series, which is simply a earthy penetration into her beingness with bipolar.
"It was a merchandise I'd ne'er had before," she says. "It astir felt similar talking to a therapist oregon a friend."
It has been 4 years since the incidental astatine Stansted Airport, and Rosie has learned to unrecorded with the information alongside her vocation arsenic a exemplary for large brands specified arsenic Gucci and Yves Saint Laurent.
"I inactive americium specified a mean 27-year-old who thinks 'how bash I woody with this connected apical of everything else?'. It doesn't get easier, it's conscionable your mindset towards it gets overmuch kinder."
You tin perceive to the podcast and find accusation and enactment connected the Access All homepage.