3 months ago
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You whitethorn remember, not slightest due to the fact that I haven’t unopen up astir it adjacent for a 2nd since it happened, that Tom Cruise sent maine 2 cakes past Christmas. The communicative is agelong and overtold but, successful summary: each twelvemonth Tom Cruise sends a achromatic cocoa and coconut bundt to each the radical helium has ever worked with. In January 2021, I embarked connected a year-long run to person 1 of these cakes myself. Two, successful fact, due to the fact that (and I committedness this made consciousness astatine the time), Tom Cruise once ate 2 curries successful a edifice connected the aforesaid night.
December rolled astir and, to my astonishment, Tom Cruise sent maine 2 cakes. Which is objectively excessively overmuch cake, particularly erstwhile each azygous idiosyncratic you cognize refuses a portion due to the fact that they person an aversion to coconut. Nevertheless, it was a beauteous touch; a coagulated PR determination for Team Cruise and the parent of each school-gate flexes for me.
But that was past year. Since then, Tom Cruise has enjoyed possibly the astir palmy twelvemonth of his career. Top Gun: Maverick wasn’t conscionable a highly enjoyable, if entertainingly preposterous, enactment movie of the benignant that radical don’t marque immoderate more, but it astir single-handedly kept the conception of theatrical moviegoing afloat. This has been a twelvemonth where respective cinematic titans person wobbled precariously – The Rock’s latest movie mislaid its workplace $100m, Pixar deed the ungraded doubly and adjacent Steven Spielberg’s large instrumentality recovered itself without a consenting audience. But Top Gun Maverick bucked the inclination with ease.
The biggest movie of the twelvemonth (so far: it could inactive beryllium usurped by Avatar), Maverick has made $1.5bn successful theatrical receipts alone. It is present the 11th biggest movie of each time, the 2nd astir palmy movie that Paramount has ever made (after Titanic) and comfortably the biggest money-maker of Tom Cruise’s career. Cruise is simply a 60-year-old antheral operating during a clip erstwhile radical would alternatively person their teeth pulled than spell to the cinema. It is an bonzer achievement.
He has besides been engaged successful different areas. There is adjacent year’s Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning to promote, which helium has been doing successful a myriad of gut-churning ways. There was the trailer drop, obviously, promising a movie that makes 2018’s stupendous Mission: Impossible – Fallout look similar a grooming run. But determination was besides the method successful which helium chose to contiguous the trailer, hanging disconnected the broadside of a speeding biplane truthful casually that it felt specifically designed to springiness you a tummy ache.
And that hasn’t been all. He was 1 of the past humans to person met the Queen, appearing astatine her Platinum Jubilee equine show. While helium was determination helium recovered the clip to stroll done Windsor similar a returning hero, and besides someway became lifelong BFFs with Alan Titchmarsh. And, though it didn’t hap this year, Cruise seemingly called Emily Blunt a “pussy” connected the acceptable of Edge of Tomorrow. But that was lone conscionable reported, truthful it counts arsenic a 2022 accomplishment anyway.
Which is to accidental that Tom Cruise has been incredibly engaged each year. I cognize this due to the fact that helium seemingly forgot to update his spreadsheets properly. That’s right: this weekend, contempt my near-total deficiency of begging, 2 much Tom Cruise achromatic cocoa and coconut bundts appeared connected my doorstep. They are reliably delicious, and I americium arsenic grateful arsenic I americium surprised. As ever, the cakes came with Christmas decorations, which means I present person a gratuitously Cruise-y tree. And it has provided maine with a accidental to close the mistakes of past year, by forcing the barroom connected to astir everyone I travel into carnal interaction with.
This has comfortably go the weirdest portion of my twelvemonth now, and 1 of the astir giddy. And amended yet, it has fixed maine the cleanable run for 2023. Operation Politely Ask Tom Cruise to Send Me 50% Less Cake Next Year begins now.
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